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A Very Unorthodox Test Take this test...you'll be amazed at what you can find out. Don't cheat, though -- you can't skip around. Say the word "cow" BEFORE each word. 1 - Cows 2 - About 3 - Talking ... 1 2 3 4 5	Smart Rednecks "Hello, is this the police?" "Yes, what do you want?" "I'm calling to report my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood." "Thank you very much for the ... 1 2 3 4 5
Secret A guy walks into a bar ... once inside, he realizes it's a gay bar, but he decides, 'What the heck, I really want a drink.' So he sits down at the bar, and the gay bartender says to him, 'What's the ... 1 2 3 4 5	Hunting License A redneck was getting in his truck and a trooper pulled up and asked him, if he had a hunting license for this state. The redneck showed him the license, and the trooper was satisfied. But, the trooper ... 1 2 3 4 5
Scotch A guy walks into a bar and rudely demands a shot of 12-yr old scotch. The bartender thinks "this guy doesn't know the difference," so he pours a shot of 2-year old scotch. The patron ... 1 2 3 4 5	Contractor A woman wants the inside of her house painted and she calls a contractor in to help her. They wander around the house, and she points out the colors she wants. She says, "Now, in the living room, ... 1 2 3 4 5
Spelling Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away. "Where do you live?" asked the operator. Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus ... 1 2 3 4 5	Alcohol Honesty A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she had selected the following items: A half-gallon of 2% milk, A half carton of eggs, A quart of orange juice, A small head of romaine lettuce, A ... 1 2 3 4 5
The Official Blonde Sex Quiz TRUE or FALSE? 1. Pubic hair is a wild rabbit in the Outback. 2. "Spread Eagle" is an extinct bird. 3. A menstrual cycle has three wheels. 4. The G-string is part of a violin. 5. ... 1 2 3 4 5	Three Hillbillies Three hillbillies were sitting on the porch. The first hillbilly said "My wife is so dumb, yesterday she drug home a brand new washer and dryer, and we ain't even got electricity!" The second hillbilly ... 1 2 3 4 5
Redneck Family Tree Many many years ago when I was twenty three, I got married to a widow who was pretty as could be. This widow had a grown-up daughter Who had hair of red. My father fell in love with ... 1 2 3 4 5	Redneck Gas Station There was this gas station in "redneck country" trying to increase its sales, so the owner put up a sign saying "Free Sex with Fill-up." Soon a "redneck" customer pulled in, filled his tank, and then ... 1 2 3 4 5
Disarming Lem: "I got fired from my job as a bank guard." Clem: "That's awful. What happened?" Lem: "Well a thief came in to rob a bank. I drew my gun. I told him that if he took one more step, ... 1 2 3 4 5	Bubba's Assholes Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer. The three men had always done everything ... 1 2 3 4 5
Special Forces The latest ploy to drive the Taliban and Al Queda out of the mountains of Afghanistan is to send in a team of Alabama Special Forces. Billy Bob, Bubba, Boo, Scooter, and Cooter are being sent in with ... 1 2 3 4 5	The Coroner's Office Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces.The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened. Coroner tells the Inspector: "First body: A Frenchman, ... 1 2 3 4 5

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