Jokes

Strenuous Exercise I tried it, I liked it, you will too!! The older we get the more important it is to incorporate exercise into our daily routine. This is necessary ... 1 2 3 4 5	Stop Russians! Mrs. Smith, do you have happy family? -O, yes, i have 5 sons and great husband! -And where they are now? - My younger son Jhon is now in Iraq My second son Mike is in Afghanistan My ... 1 2 3 4 5
A Very Unorthodox Test Take this test...you'll be amazed at what you can find out. Don't cheat, though -- you can't skip around. Say the word "cow" BEFORE each word. 1 - Cows 2 - About 3 - Talking ... 1 2 3 4 5	Specimen A mountain woman went to the doctor and was told to go home and come back in a couple of days with a specimen. When she got home she asks her husband, "What is a specimen?" He replies. ... 1 2 3 4 5
Spelling Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away. "Where do you live?" asked the operator. Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus ... 1 2 3 4 5	Surgery A woman goes to her doctor and says that she wants an operation because her vagina lips are much too large. She asks the doctor to keep the operation a secret, as she is embarrassed and doesn't want ... 1 2 3 4 5
The Truth A man and his secretary are having an affair, so one afternoon they get a motel room and have strenuous sex. He's not used to the pace, so he falls asleep afterwards and doesn't wake up until ... 1 2 3 4 5	Too Young to Die A prominent young attorney was on his way to court to begin arguments on a complex lawsuit when he suddenly found himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter started to escort him inside, when he began ... 1 2 3 4 5
Alcohol Honesty A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she had selected the following items: A half-gallon of 2% milk, A half carton of eggs, A quart of orange juice, A small head of romaine lettuce, A ... 1 2 3 4 5	Annual Physical 70-year-old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with normal results. Dr. Smith said, "George, everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? ... 1 2 3 4 5
Bar Phrases "You get this one, next round is on me." (We won't be here long enough to get another round.) "I'll get this one, next round is on you." (Happy hour is about to end...beers are now a dollar, ... 1 2 3 4 5	Basketball Lingo An Irishman moves to the USA & finally attends his first baseball game. The first batter approached the batters' box, took a few swings and then hit a double. Everyone was on their feet ... 1 2 3 4 5
Clever Woman Here is a clever woman! Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement - not even her parents' nasty divorce. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress ... 1 2 3 4 5	Contractor A woman wants the inside of her house painted and she calls a contractor in to help her. They wander around the house, and she points out the colors she wants. She says, "Now, in the living room, ... 1 2 3 4 5
Disarming Lem: "I got fired from my job as a bank guard." Clem: "That's awful. What happened?" Lem: "Well a thief came in to rob a bank. I drew my gun. I told him that if he took one more step, ... 1 2 3 4 5	Driving With Penguins A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins. He pulls the guy over and says, "You can't drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately." The ... 1 2 3 4 5

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